July 17, 2001

AN ODD TREND IN BEAUTY?

Dear Friends and Subscribers,

The other day one of my friends mentioned casually that it was time to have her roots darkened again. This is a woman my daughter once mistook for model Kim Alexis. Formerly a beautiful blond, she now has mousey brown hair pulled back in a frumpy bun. I assumed she had simply tired of highlighting her hair, so it surprised me to learn she had started dying it drab brown on purpose. In this age when the trend is toward artificial beauty, it seemed odd that someone would use artifice to disguise her natural assets.

Her comment seemed to invite discussion, so I asked, "What's the deal?"

She laughed. "Oh, you mean why have I 'ugged' myself up?"

It was true. She hadn't just darkened her golden blond hair; she had "uglied" herself. Long shapely legs used to extend beneath short tight skirts, ending in stylish 3-inch pumps; tasteful, expensive jewelry used to highlight her perfectly made-up face and well-manicured hands. Still slender, she now wore oxford shirts and knee-length skirts with flat shoes to disguise her figure. Horn-rimmed glasses replaced her contact lenses, and she pulled her now-dingy hair back in a bun, often sticking a pencil or pen through it to hold it in place. "Plain Jane" was almost too kind a title. She had indeed "uglied herself up," and "ugh" was the instinctive response.

So why the transformation? "I've more than doubled my sales this year," she explained with a chuckle. A wholesaler, she meets with company managers and presidents to sell automotive supplies. When she was beautiful, potential clients wouldn't take her seriously at best, and often expected a romantic tryst at worst. Women felt threatened by her, and men felt aroused. The bottom line? They watched her bottom instead of her line of products.

Now, she says, it's all business. Clients expect her to be smart (she always was) and they treat her with respect and camaraderie. Her commissions increased by $100,000 the first year.

"But how do you feel when you look in a mirror?" I asked her.

"I just tell myself it's my assistant," she laughed. "And I still have my old wardrobe for when I go out with my husband."

"But the best part," she confided, "is that I have women friends now. Women don't give me the eye when I walk into a room. And they open the circle when they're talking, instead of closing me out."

As she spoke, the light dawned. The same thing has happened to me, although I hadn't figured out why. I've had more women friends during the past four years than I ever had before. Women invite me to lunch. They seek me out at social gatherings. They join me in the bleachers at school functions. They listen to my suggestions at meetings instead of freezing me out. I've enjoyed it, but I didn't understand it. Until now. Four years ago a cornea injury forced me to stop wearing contacts and start wearing glasses. At nearly the same time, middle age metabolism kicked in, adding a few pounds. When I looked in a mirror I saw a plainer reflection, and I didn't like it.

But Mary's experience gave me a different perspective on the new me. Maybe there is an advantage to aging. I'm the same person I always was, just as Mary has the same bouyant personality she always had. But the plainer version is more approachable somehow. Maybe "ugging up," even unintentionally, can double one's income and improve one's social life!

Now don't get me wrong: I'm fighting nature every step of the way. I'm running on the treadmill, exercising, dressing well, and keeping my appointments with Miss Clairol every six weeks. But if there's a silver lining to that silvering hairline, it's that women like me better, and I'm enjoying my newfound popularity.

So when you have that proverbial "bad hair day," instead of feeling down just think of how happy and friendly it will make every woman you meet. It's nice to know that something so simple can make others so happy!

-- Jo Ann Skousen

email: jaskousen@mskousen.com

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